Your favourite social media apps were incredibly smart by rearranging your news feeds to “Most Popular” instead of chronological. This means that catching up on everything is now almost impossible, leaving you stuck in an endless loop of recycled content that you don’t really care about. Huh. On the bride side, you get to see lots of funny tweets and memes Yay! Here’s 43 of them from October. Procrastination awaits!
#1
https://twitter.com/DianaaMichelle/status/1187311975145054208
#2
Me, opening my eyes to see I have two minutes left before my alarm clock goes off: pic.twitter.com/LCtGclewhB
— (((Sᴄʀᴜ̈ᴇɢɢS))) (@scrueggs) October 10, 2019
#3
https://twitter.com/gothicmane/status/1187168461421719553?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
#4
🎶Row, row, Robocop
Gently down the stream
Directive one: Uphold the law
I am part machine🎶— TF Noir (@TFNoir) October 21, 2019
#5
we let an older lady at work organize the cake toppers pic.twitter.com/uQHa0jCvgs
— ❄️🎄🎁🎅⛄xmas thot ⛄🎅🎁🎄❄️ (@autumn_johnson_) October 10, 2019
#6
How did she kept a straight face😂🤣 pic.twitter.com/TfuIFE77cV
— dccalvaro (@dccalvaro) October 15, 2019
#7
Me pretending to be a box fan when her husband come home unexpectedly
— The Back Of Yo Pussy Stank (@SpriteOverHoes) October 28, 2019
#8
When I look behind me in line at Whole Foods https://t.co/nVd25n4kkm
— sam (@oohdope) October 16, 2019
#9
I give every guy I date a 3 red flag rule.
The rule is if I find three or more red flags then I become colorblind for the remainder of our toxic relationship
— Mat 🏳️🌈 (@matchu_chutrain) October 8, 2019
#10
Me on my way to tell the waitress she got my boyfriend’s order wrong pic.twitter.com/G1WJQW3RT4
— quinta brunson (@quintabrunson) October 10, 2019
#11
Bitches buy a windbreaker from goodwill for $4 and decide to start a “maddie’s thrift finds” instagram account
— Soel Jchillinger (@Soeljchillinger) October 4, 2019
#12
getting the candy washed and ready to go for halloween night pic.twitter.com/3eXPTbky5W
— slick (@dlicj) October 30, 2019
#13
ME REGULARLY: *uses the same 3 things at home*
ME PACKING FOR VACATION: I wonder if I'll need 4 French horns or 5
— Michael Spooky Easter Name 🌶 (@Home_Halfway) October 9, 2019
#14
Yea sex is cool but have you ever told your spouse where something is and they look there and say it’s not there and then you go find it right where you said it was and hand it to them?
— Jason Mustian (@jasonmustian) October 31, 2019
#15
Nobody:
Every Girl's boomerang: pic.twitter.com/QOZNZKXosk— Big Bandz The Man🕺🏾 (@TayBandz870) October 28, 2019
#16
almost 22 years ago 2 people had sex and now i have to go to work everyday
— bam its sam✨ (@saaamscottt6) October 16, 2019
#17
me after using “furthermore” in an essay https://t.co/Ml3zq3hsUv
— 🦋 (@hurttfuI) October 28, 2019
#18
when you and your ex said you were gonna get married and now you’ve both blocked eachother on everything
pic.twitter.com/oZymjrgy8e— kenna (@sapphicfatale) October 23, 2019
#19
When you’re using Apple Maps and realize you’ve been walking the wrong direction for two blocks pic.twitter.com/pB2zR1vgyX
— B. (@Bridgianity) October 23, 2019
#20
dads be like “go help ur mother” bro go help ur wife
— gunass (@OBLOMOVITE) October 1, 2019
#21
i am glad that high school has not changed pic.twitter.com/iOtEOJEhfw
— Sara Yasin 🙅🏻 (@sarayasin) October 18, 2019
#22
I will never delete Facebook pic.twitter.com/0GC8hVQABO
— Elizabeth Armstead🌞 (@EArmstead11) October 24, 2019
#23
i quit doing comedy too but not because of PC culture or whatever but because most of us will never be as funny as this sign pic.twitter.com/jtB73jZsYF
— the Bangalorian (@ElSangito) October 4, 2019
#24
no one:
a mushroom: pic.twitter.com/y76f8hF0L1
— Anna (@annnnabarnes) October 26, 2019
#25
“He’s probably out cheating right now🤬😡”
Him: pic.twitter.com/m1cpQjoiwD
— sunrise (@waasabbi) October 3, 2019
#26
Wtf do theses mfs go through in orientation https://t.co/3EPlgLHVOs
— mo (@moprob1ems) October 6, 2019
#27
me and my FBI agent looking at each other thru my iPhone camera after i get left on read again by the same 3 guys pic.twitter.com/fVLEz0j5i4
— brittany 🤠 (@notkombuchagirl) October 10, 2019
#28
Me knowing I’m not getting drafted in this years cuffing season
— ⚯͛ (@burytherose) October 20, 2019
#29
so you’re telling me a boot cut these jeans
— Chase (@chaselyons) October 20, 2019
#30
https://twitter.com/eliterenno/status/1180065459246370816/video/1
#31
this is the most cat thing ive ever seen pic.twitter.com/EXrVuNfhog
— 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚊 🍂 (@disharryland) October 16, 2019
#32
Ain’t it crazy how woman do all this to keep their vaginas pretty and healthy meanwhile men just wiggle the pee off their dick before they put it back in they pants https://t.co/ljOmzhvMAr
— asiah (@notasiahh_) October 30, 2019
#33
my girlfriend just added uncooked pasta to cold water and then turned on the stove and when i said that she should boil the water before adding pasta she said “literally all men are the same”
— ☆drive45☆ (@drive45music) October 14, 2019
#34
a moment in american history we will never forget pic.twitter.com/oYi9VzjjbO
— E🙇🏻♂️ (@heylias) October 19, 2019
#35
all I see is hummus https://t.co/0zJnA4oqS2
— Sophia Armen (@SophiaArmen) October 19, 2019
#36
i am 25 and completely burnt out. what am I suppose to do for 50 MORE years? maintain a yard? bitch about traffic? keep buying spinach and watching it die? get oil changes? fucksake
— ditch pony (@molly7anne) October 25, 2019
#37
my child, a mere 6 year old, has proposed we add the month of chillember, an entire month where we just chill. so my question for you ms. warren
— slean cate (@CateSlean) October 27, 2019
#38
1. It’s a landline. pic.twitter.com/9WKUxUR6lS
— Vittanelle (@Vitt2tsnoc) October 26, 2019
#39
recently found out my ex had been cheating on me for the past 5 months so here’s a picture of him crying like a child when i found out and left his ass lmfaooooo gets me every time pic.twitter.com/bElwcCdEy6
— KT (@kttgros) October 16, 2019
#40
Y’all still pull your luggage? 🤔🤭 amateurs. #lifehacks pic.twitter.com/RtcG1zQUlh
— D Rose (@DamnDRoseTweets) October 19, 2019
#41
I saw a man getting ready to fight someone and he took out his airpods and gave them to his friends like they were hoops
— Maya Murillo (@mayainthemoment) October 22, 2019
#42
My dad called me today and asked me how I’ve been and I said bored, and he said yeah that’s what happens when you get older. You find a couple people you kinda like and go get a beer at applebee’s or some shit. That phone call ruined my day, possibly my life
— Gunnar Johnson (@Gunnarjohnson6) October 2, 2019
#43
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm clearly Sloth from "The Goonies." Let go of me!" pic.twitter.com/zYUrH9kO5F
— Ted Travelstead (@trumpetcake) October 7, 2019
